a losing battle (free at last Book 2) Page 10

  “Hunter!” I can’t even recognize my own voice. I’ve never needed sex as much as I do at this moment. “Please, Hunter, please!”

  “Ah, baby, I love it when you beg.” He grins, licking his lips.

  “You’re so mean,” I breathe.

  He strokes me again. “You smell so good. I can’t wait to have you on my lips and tongue. Do you want this?”

  “Yes. Yes, Hunter, yes!”

  He smiles. “Like I could ever turn you down. You’re my life.” And his words, together with his heated look, make me arch off the bed, ready to come right there and then.

  “Hmmm, I like turning you on so much,” he mumbles, breathing against my vagina.

  I’m just about to howl with frustrated longing when he squeezes his mouth against my clit, sucking once, twice, three times, and everything inside me contracts, detonating in an enormous pressure wave. I feel like I’ve been turned inside out, and as unsexy as it is, I’m just hanging there like a wet bag.

  “Fuck, Mac! I love that you can come so fast. I love that you’re so turned on you don’t need any more than this. Fuck! Let’s see whether you can go again.”

  Two fingers push inside me, and he presses them against my front vaginal wall.

  “I don’t have a G—” I arch off the bed and scream. “Oh my God!”

  My hands find his head, and I squeeze him against me. While his fingertips massage my G-spot, he licks my clit again and again.

  “Hunter! Oh God! HUNTER!” I scream, as he sets to work very meticulously. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life. Inside me, an enormous pressure builds up. I gasp and moan, hardly able to breathe. “Hunter!” I call out again and again.

  My fingers claw into his scalp, and my legs squeeze his shoulders. With his free hand, he reaches up to massage my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers, first one, then the other. I bite my lips, rolling my eyes, moving my head left and right. My torso arches off the bed, and my toes curl up. My muscles contract, and a powerful shudder runs through me. The muscles inside my belly contract, too, and everything culminates in a fireball originating inside me—right there, where Hunter is pushing his fingertips against me. There, where Hunter is doing magic with his tongue.

  “Come, baby,” he mumbles before he sucks my clit with lots of good pressure. He puts his fingers firmly against the spot while simultaneously pinching a nipple, intensifying my lust.

  And then I scream louder than I have ever screamed during sex before. He doesn’t let go, taking me through my orgasm, elongating it, making sure I’m surging from one wave to the next, extending my climax endlessly.

  When I come down again several long minutes later, I’m completely spent. Every muscle in my body is more relaxed than it has ever been before. It’s pure bliss.

  Hunter gets up and opens the drawer of his bedside table. He grabs a condom and looks at it.

  “What are you doing?” I ask sleepily.

  “I’m looking for the expiration date.”

  “They’re good for four years,” I say.

  “Hmmm. I’ll go get some from Carey’s room.” He bends down to me, planting a kiss on my lips, then one on my forehead. “I’ll be right back, beautiful.”

  I nod, waiting for his return. He brings back a handful of condoms.

  “Are you planning something?” I tease him.

  “You never know what records you’ll make me break, darling.” He lies down on top of me, lovingly kissing me, and looks into my eyes. “You make me so happy, Mac.”

  I stroke his cheek and kiss his kips. “You make me so happy, too.”

  “Really?”

  I nod. It’s the truth. He makes me happy. He opens the wrapper, puts on a condom, and carefully starts to go inside. My first thought: He’s so big! I can feel every inch of him pushing into me. Every single inch stretching me. When I feel I’ve been expanded completely, he goes deeper.

  “Oh God, Hunter,” I mumble. “You’re so big.”

  He laughs against my breasts. “What’s that? Stroking my male ego, are you?” He pushes deeper.

  I gasp and say, “You never need to worry about your ego.”

  He teasingly bites my nipple. “I thought we were calling it a cock.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I moan as he starts moving back and forth.

  “Oh, yeah, good?” he teases.

  “Fuck, yeah!”

  He grins and kisses the tip of my nose. “Fuck yeah, my girl can swear.”

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders while he gently fucks me to get me accustomed to the feeling. When I start letting go, he ups his speed. His lips find mine, and I love that he’s kissing me while we’re making love.

  I see a thin film of sweat on his brow and wipe it off, feeling drops of sweat running down between my breasts. He kisses them away.

  “I love you so much, Mac,” he mumbles against my lips.

  “I love you, too,” I say without thinking.

  He pauses, then kisses me over and over. “You make me so happy, baby. So indescribably happy.”

  He thrusts into me a few more times before he says, “I’m so sorry. I’m going to come now. Sorry, baby.”

  And then he surges into the condom and gently relaxes on top of me, his head on my breasts, and I stroke his back. Completely. Happy.

  15

  Hunter

  I’m holding her in my arms, breathing in her scent. She sleeps like a baby, but after all those sleepless hours during BUD/S, I’m finding it hard to relax. It’s weird to think absolute horror and pure bliss can be so close together.

  If I’d known Mac would go to bed with me after SEALs training—to my bed—I would have started training three years ago. I know life as an elite soldier is not going to be easy, but the fact that Mac is mine, that we’re together, that we’re going to have a future together, is going to make it easier for me. Even when I’m overseas. I hope I’ll be stationed here in San Diego. But even if I’m not, she’ll definitely need an apartment for now. She can’t stay here with Dad anymore.

  I gently kiss her on the shoulder. I still can’t believe this. It all happened so suddenly. Half a day ago, I still thought she would never love me. And now… Now, she’s already told me she loves me, while lying in my arms. She made love to me. And gave me such a heavenly blow job I almost came the first second of it. I’m glad I managed to pull myself together. That would have been embarrassing.

  When I finally fall asleep, my senses are full of her. I love her. And the fact that she loves me too is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

  “What the fuck is going on here?”

  I’m wide awake immediately, just like I was trained to be—jumping out of bed, ready to rumble. I squint into the dark. Dad is standing in front of me, looking at me with such fury I feel like a four-year-old who just spilled his expensive whiskey.

  Mac wakes up much more slowly. At first, there’s a happy smile on her lips, then her eyes widen in shock. She sits up, wrapping the sheet around her body. I’m thankful for it. I don’t want anybody—not even my father—to see her naked.

  “What the fuck is this?” he screams like a madman. “What are you doing in my house? You little shit! Get out! This is my house! And you have the balls to come in here and fuck my girlfriend? Fuck off! You’re a disgrace. You’re dead to me!”

  I grab my sweatpants from the chair. “Dad, let me—”

  “No! There’s nothing to explain! You’ve trespassed into my home. Get out, or I’ll call the police!”

  I’ve never seen him like this. I don’t know what to do.

  “Carter,” Mac quietly pleads.

  His angry eyes turn on her. “Shut up, you fucking whore.”

  “Don’t you talk to her like that!” I yell at him.

  “She’s my girlfriend. I’ll talk to her however I want!”

  Carey comes in, looking from one person to the other. “Dad?”

  “This is none of your business, Carey! Get out!”

/>   Mac gets up, holding the sheet over herself. “Carter, please let me explain.”

  “There’s nothing to explain. You’re a fucking cunt, just like their mom.”

  At that moment, I see red. And I hit him. I just about manage to hold back—and only break his nose.

  “Hunter, don’t!” Mac calls, sounding desperate.

  Carey darts between us, begging me to calm down. But blood is streaming out of Dad’s nose, and I feel a sick sense of satisfaction.

  He gets up from where he fell on the floor. “You’re no longer wanted here, Hunter. This house is no longer yours. Get out, or I’ll call the police.”

  I look at Mac and hold out my hand to her. She stares at it, and every second that goes by, I start feeling more insecure. She is mine, right? My girl. She’s coming with me. She’s leaving this house with me. But she’s not taking my hand. Why isn’t she taking my fucking hand? I love her. She loves me.

  “Hunter,” she whispers desperately.

  Squinting, I look away from her—to Carey, who’s giving her a surprised look, apparently also unable to understand why she isn’t going with me.

  “Hunter, I need to talk to your dad,” she says, and it’s like somebody slapped me in the face. It’s like I’m the one with the broken nose, not Dad.

  “What?” I ask, incredulous. She wants to talk to Dad? She wants to stay here?

  “Hunter, please.”

  My heart smashes into a million pieces, which are then put through a shredder and ground to dust. This is impossible. Why isn’t she coming with me? How can she stay here?

  “Mac?” I breathe, not wanting to believe what I’m hearing, what I’m seeing.

  “I’m sorry, Hunter. I need to talk to your dad,” she says again.

  I have never felt so horrible. Not once in my entire life. For the past three years, she has chosen him over me. And a little fucking obviously doesn’t change anything about that.

  “I can’t believe you,” I say quietly, to keep my voice from trembling. “After all this, you’re choosing him? After all we had? After how he just treated you? You’re staying?”

  “Hunter…”

  “No, you know what? I’m finished with you. I’ve been waiting for you for years, and you kept messing with me. You kept giving me mixed signals, not even having the backbone to give me a clear yes or no. And now you’re staying with him? Damn you!”

  I run out of the room, nearly blind with anger.

  “Hunter!” she calls after me. I trip down the stairs and grab my stuff. But before I can run out of the house, her hand grabs my arm.

  “Hunter, please, let me explain…”

  “There’s nothing to explain!” I scream. “You chose him! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!” I dart out of the house. As I slip inside the car, she comes out the front door behind me, calling my name, her face wet with tears. In the rearview mirror, I see her sink to the ground and let her head fall to the road, crying relentlessly.

  The sight of it rips my heart apart a little more. But it’s like they say—better a terrible end than unending terror. At least I know now that I can never have her. Never.

  16

  Mackenzie

  Carey wraps his arms around me, holding me tight. “Mac, don’t cry. Please don’t.” I claw at his shirt, badly needing an anchor so I don’t get pulled out into the ocean and lost forever.

  “He hates me,” I sob.

  “He loves you. That’s the problem.”

  “No, he loved me, and I ruined everything.”

  Carey smooths my hair back out of my face. “Why did you choose Dad?”

  I shake my head. “I didn’t. I just wanted to explain things to him. Apologize. Hunter didn’t do anything wrong, Carey, but I did. I was in a relationship. And to me, that means something. I should have done the right thing, but I didn’t. I just wanted to apologize for that.”

  “Oh, Mac! Men don’t think like that. In this one situation, you should have taken his hand without hesitating. You could have explained everything else later. But now you’ve broken his heart.”

  It takes me a while to calm down enough to be able to go back inside the house. I go to the bedroom and put on some clothes before I walk into Carter’s office.

  “I’m sorry,” I say without preamble.

  He snorts mockingly. “Like I’m interested in what a whore has to say.”

  I take a deep breath. He’s hurt, so he’s saying things he doesn’t mean. He’s a good person. He is. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Carter.”

  “Don’t worry, you haven’t. I knew from the beginning what kind of a woman you were. You were only in this for the money. And then you seduced my kids. Tell me, bitch, did you fuck Carey when he was fifteen?”

  I gasp. “No, of course not! What are you thinking?”

  “I think I’m going to sue you for seducing minors.” He stands and comes closer, and I take a step back. “I invited you into my house, my life, and how do you thank me for it?”

  Without another word, I turn and walk for the door. There’s a psychotic shine in his eyes that’s really scaring me. I’m already out through the doorway when he grabs me by the hair and slams me against the wall.

  “You thank me by fucking my children!” he yells. “Back then, they were still minors! Carey was fifteen!” As I struggle back to my feet, I see Carey standing at the top of the stairs.

  But before I can say anything, Carter raises his hand and hits me in the face. Bam! It feels like my head is going to explode.

  I can hear Carey running down the stairs, and then he’s standing in front of me, before Carter can raise his hand again. “Dad! What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t you dare touch her again!”

  Carter wakes up from his trance and looks around himself, almost disoriented. He sees me on the floor, my lip bleeding.

  “Oh, no,” he whispers softly. “Mackenzie, I’m sorry. Sweetie, I’m sorry…”

  He reaches out for me, but Carey doesn’t let him. “No way, old man. You’re never going to touch her again. And you better pray Hunter doesn’t find out you hit her. If he does, he’s going to kill you.”

  Carter goes chalk-white and gives me a sad look. “I loved you…”

  I nod. “I loved you, too, Carter. But neither of us made our relationship a priority. And this is the result. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. But you hurt me, too. I found a thong in your pocket when I was doing laundry.”

  Though I didn’t think it possible, he went even whiter. Then he nods slowly. “I’m sorry, too. Mackenzie, I never wanted this… I’m… I’m so sorry. It’s unforgivable, but I hope you can forgive me at some point.”

  Carey grabs my arm, gets my purse from the coat stand, and walks me out to his car. He puts me in the passenger seat and climbs into the driver’s seat. As he starts the car, he asks, “What do we do now Mac?”

  “Hunter?” I whisper.

  Carey shakes his head. “He’ll take a while to come around. We’ll wait to go to him next week. First, we need somewhere to stay.”

  “Shane,” I say.

  “Shane,” Carey repeats and starts the car.

  As he drives us to Shane, my thoughts are with Hunter. How is he? Is he going to forgive me for not taking his hand? Or have I ruined everything just by acting rationally when I should have reacted emotionally? God, please give me another chance! I don’t want to lose him. Not now that I’ve finally realized I love him. That I’ve loved him for years.

  17

  Hunter

  I’m sitting at a bar. And I’m not exactly sober. I down one beer after another. I want to forget, drown the pain. I wish Hell Week was still ahead of me to numb my thoughts.

  Mac chose Dad. Mac chose Dad. Mac… She doesn’t love me. She never will. I will be alone for the rest of my life.

  “Hey, man,” Killian says quietly, sitting down beside me.

  “Hey.” I manage to slur the single syllable.

  “Don’t you think you
’ve had enough?”

  I shake my head and down the rest of my glass. “Can still think.”

  “There’s easier ways, man. I could knock you out,” he jokes, but I don’t feel like joking.

  “Do it.” I gesture for the bartender to bring me another beer. After all, I should make use of the fact that I’m a legal adult now. He appears to have one ready and waiting.

  “Come on, Hunter,” Killian says. “No woman is worth doing so much damage to yourself.”

  I take the first sip from my new glass. “I thought she was worth it.”

  Shaking his head, he squeezes my shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” I down the glass.

  “Let’s go, Killer.”

  I nod and put a few bills on the counter. The barkeeper waves at us. As we walk out, Killian has to prop me up—otherwise I’d be crawling. As we step outside, my stomach turns, and I vomit right there on the pavement.

  “Fuck,” I groan, wiping my mouth.

  “Come on,” Killian says, grasping my upper arm. He drags me ahead a little, to a spot with some picnic tables. I let myself drop onto a bench and put my head in my hands.

  “Why doesn’t she love me?” I mumble through my fingers.

  “You need to talk to her again, man. Let her explain. You need to be sure.”

  “I am sure.”

  “Talk to her again, Hunt. Otherwise, you’ll wonder forever. You’ll always doubt yourself.”

  “I don’t doubt anything. I know it. It’s over.” Tears run down my cheeks. My Mac! No, not mine. As of today, I finally know exactly where we stand. She was a sweet dream that turned into a nightmare.

  I don’t know how I get into my bed, but when I wake up the next morning, it feels like my skull’s been split in two.

  I’m standing in my superior’s office.

  “Are you sure, Tilman?” he asks.

  I nod. “Positive, sir.”

  He looks at the papers and nods. “Okay. Your flight leaves at eighteen hundred.”